The High Cost of Trying Too Hard. How doing too much, is the same as not doing enough....

Perfectionism is paralyzing.

We live in a fast world, where being “productive” is the measuring stick for a good and worthwhile life.... yet we all secretly wish for more time, more freedom, and more joy.
We all want more space, more time for relationships, more energy, and more time to live and enjoy life.


The urgency and the pressure to make more and do more... to keep up with the demands of kids, chores, bills, aging parents... creates overwhelm, stress and burnout. This depletion can lead to depression and nervous disorders, anxiety, chronic pain and a host of other ailments.


All signs of a life out of balance.


What can we do about it?


Most important: Recognize what you are doing. And be aware that your life is built upon a belief, and a story that you have adopted as “reality.” You forgot that you have freedom. You forgot that you have options. You do not realize that your outer reality is a reflection of your inner truth, your inner sense of self-worth, your belief in what is possible, or allowable, or deserved.


Change your mind, to change your world.
Don't try to change the world to change your self!


Re-arranging the furniture of your house will not create a brand new house.
In a few days or weeks you will feel the same about your house again...
Just like life...


Most of us would benefit immensely if we could slow down, step off the hamster wheel, and take some time every day to focus inward. Better yet – put your bare feet on the earth. Breath. Meditate. Journal. Exercise. Do some EFT with yourself...


If you're the kind of person that can never truly relax (without T.V., alcohol or drugs or food), and never really feels “good enough” no matter how hard you try, then chances are you fit the profile of a perfectionist. Perfectionism is not the same as self-mastery or being impeccable. Perfectionism is a never ending quest to make yourself good enough, acceptable enough, or successful enough to get the respect or love or recognition you secretly yearn for. It's based on a core belief that you are not completely acceptable, lovable and good enough just as you are right now in this moment. That you have to DO something, constantly, to demonstrate your value. This produces enormous stress and anxiety and will never lead you to happiness. To learn more about perfectionism, listen to my six minute audio and see if it applies to you:

What is Perfectionsim? (Audio)

Perfectionism is habit of being, that can feel like your whole identity, but it is a dragon worth conquering.  Freeing yourself from this pattern may be the healthiest and most life-changing thing you will ever do. The way to undo perfectionism is an inner journey. It's about finding your inner Self and breaking the addiction to outer rewards and validation. Freeing yourself from this perfectionist mindset will also transform your relationships. You will be less frustrated and less disappointed in the people you are close to. You will experience more pleasure, more peace and more contentment. And you will become more creative and internally motivated.

One of the best ways to start working on this is to keep a journal. Every day write down at least five positive qualities of yourself that are true in this moment. If you have a hard time coming up with five, then write down what you would like to feel about yourself, as if it was so right now.

Next, begin to write about the role models, parental models, siblings and other relationships you grew up with that may have either caused you to feel compelled to prove yourself, or hide your faults. Everything from comparing yourself and your performance to someone else, or avoiding shame or punishment or neglect by doing more and being "good." Look at the behaviors that got you the most love, attention, praise or status. You may also see other reasons that you took on the path of unrelenting pursuit of something - wealth, success, skill, notoriety, respectability - in order to escape the pain of something that you couldn't bear to live with. Perfectionist patterns can develop for many different reasons, but the result is always stress and an inability to truly relax and feel okay and at home within yourself.

EFT Tapping is the perfect method of exploring, releasing and resolving any childhood memories that are at the root of this pattern.