Benjamin Schwarcz, Transformational Breath Coach, EFT Tapping Pro, Trauma Specialist
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The Mindfield

Why Gratitude Doesn't Work

7/3/2017

 


We've read many self-help books that push the gratitude idea. Make a gratitude list. Keep a gratitude Journal. Focus on what you are grateful for in order to feel more positive and attract more good things into your life. The "attitude of gratitude."

But most people secretly find it very difficult to truly, genuinely feel gratitude when life is really hard (those times that you actually need positive energy the most).


We know that gratitude is healing, and that it produces a natural state of happiness when we can focus on what we're grateful for.... this is demonstrated by a number of brain studies.


But what about when nothing seems to be going your way? What can you do when you're unhappy, struggling, bitter, sad, frustrated? It can be much harder to feel genuine gratitude when life sucks!


If you can still feel genuine gratitude for the good things, then definitely focus on that. But if you're finding it hard to do, then I'm going to suggest a different way of using the power of gratitude. One that can produce much more powerful shifts in your energy and mood, faster and easier. But it requires a radically different view of reality...


The thing to be grateful for is this:

“My entire life around me is only reflecting my own consciousness, my thoughts, emotions and beliefs. What I perceive right now is only one limited version of reality, and it can all change the instant that I do. What appears out there as fixed and solid, is actually fluid and changeable. There are infinite other versions of this reality. I don't have to change the world. I can just focus on changing how I feel in this instant, and my version of the world will shift with me. The world I experience is a perfect reflection of my mind and what I hold to be true in any given moment. I can change it whenever I want. I am truly grateful to know that the power to change my world is within my own consciousness, here and now. And that even the negative things, the painful things, the apparent obstacles, are opportunities to overcome my fears, my judgments and my helplessness. I am not a victim of the world I see.
What you must remember is this:
  • You are not in control of the entire world
  • You do not see the whole picture
  • You cannot control what other people do
  • Negative situations are not a reason to feel like you are a failure or that you are to blame. These are times to practice compassion, forgiveness, courage and patience. These are like tests, to see if you can resist freaking out. Practice staying in the present moment. Don't abandon yourself.


Quantum physics demonstrates that we actually live in a multiverse (not "universe") and that in every moment, every action that you take creates a shift that births a completely new universe, like branches on a tree, endlessly growing in new directions.





Start to do the things that make you happy. Right now. Don't just think about it. Do something. Action is the easiest way to move energy.
What feels good? What do you enjoy? What have you been denying yourself?
What people have you been putting off seeing? Who boosts your positive feelings about yourself? Visit them.
What makes you smile? Do that.
Change the action. Change the scene. Do something unexpected. Out of your routine.
Changes don't have to be extreme. Just do something different. It will change how you feel. Get excited about the idea that you can change the waking dream by changing your own thinking.
Do not indulge your negative thoughts. Recognize when you are thinking like a victim. And make a conscious choice to tell yourself a different story.


Remember that your greatest power is within. It is rooted in the story you tell yourself about yourself and your life. All change begins and ends there.


You can also use EFT Tapping to help you in this same way – by calling out and clearing the negative feelings and the negative story, and re-framing, or telling yourself a different story (tapping in the positive), essentially reprogramming your subconscious mind with a new story line...

EFT can be especially useful when you feel like your negative thoughts and emotions have hijacked your mind and you can't turn it around.


continue reading on my blog...

Going Deeper....

Ask yourself:

What part of this situation feels completely beyond my control?
What's showing up in my life right now that feels bigger than me, and feels like a threat? What if I could fully realize that I am the source of all that I see around me? All of it.


Try This:
1. Identify what exactly is showing up that feels scary, hopeless, threatening or immovable. Close your eyes, and focus on that in your mind. Feel whatever feelings it evokes in you.

2. Then go through the EFT Tapping routine, describing the negative feelings about the thing or person you are focusing on. Describe it specifically, as related to this particular problem in your life. Keep tapping for several rounds, letting yourself feel the feelings until they subside or change. Don't think of it as a problem outside of you to defeat, but observe how it shows up in your mind. Keep tapping more rounds as you name the feelings about it, until they decrease and fade.

If you do this thoroughly, it is likely that either your "problem" out there will go away or resolve itself. Or your negative thoughts and feelings about it will change, and you will no longer consider it a problem for you.

If you don't know, or don't remember the basic EFT Tapping routine, please visit my website or download my book.

_____________________________________________
"If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration."
-Nikola Tesla

    Author, Ben Schwarcz

    Transformational Coach, Psychotherapist,  EFT Tapping Practitioner, Teacher and Author.

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© 2025 Benjamin Schwarcz, MA, ACAP-EFT Tapping Coach  |  509 7th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95401  |  707.326.5566  |  [email protected]
  • Home
  • Coaching
    • About Ben Schwarcz Transformative Coaching
    • Testimonials
    • EcoPsychology
    • Private Full-Day Energy Coaching Intensives
    • Peak Performance Coaching
  • EFT Tapping
    • EFT Tapping for Trauma Recovery | Ben Schwarcz, MFT
    • EFT RESEARCH
    • Videos
    • Classes
    • Upcoming Workshops
  • Psychedelic Therapy
  • Breathwork
    • What is Breathwork?
  • Ancestral Trauma
    • Ancestral Trauma Tapping / ATRT™
  • Meditation
  • Contact
    • Visit Ben's Alternative Therapy Site
    • Services
    • Legal
  • Corporate Programs
    • Corporate Mindfulness
    • EFT Tapping for Success
  • Blog
  • Breathwork Lounge