Why You Will Never Find What You are Looking For

As I drove to work this morning, I gave myself a little pep talk.

I do that sometimes as I prepare for the client I'll be sitting with for the next hour. They're coming for answers. For peace. For connection. For understanding. For compassion. For love. They come for solutions, for a way out of emotional pain, for help finding The Thing that will fix it all.
And as I have done many times before, I remembered (again) the most important thing - in fact the only thing that I have to offer anyone. And that is to be Present, Awake, and Completely Alive in this very moment. It is the only place where true connection exists - with myself - with the world - and with my client. And it is all that matters.

We spend our lives looking for happiness in every place except the one place where it can actually be found. Here, in this moment, right now.No big revelation you may say. Countless books already written about this simple fact. Be Here Now, The Power of Now, Wherever You Go, There You Are.... But really, how many people actually fully accept this as truth?

And how many actually embrace this Truth and live it?

I could throw away every psychology and self-help book I've ever read, and take just this one profound lesson, and this alone would be enough to form the basis for everything I have to offer my clients. Whether they're depressed, or anxious, or stressed out, or looking for their soul mate, or trying to find satisfaction in their job, or improve their golf game, or just have more fun in life. The answer is really the same. If you can't have it NOW, you never will! If you can't accept the fact that there is absolutely nothing outside of you that will give you the happiness or peace of mind that you are searching for, then you will keep on searching for the rest of your life... looking for the thing that will finally make you happy. And you will never find it -- until you finally stop and surrender.

When you give up, you wake up.

If it's hard to do on your own, then look for the people you know that are in that zone. And spend as much time around them as possible. You'll recognize them by the little gleam in their eyes. The genuine kindness they exude. The feeling of peace and acceptance you feel from them. You will feel a loss of the sense of time pressure when you connect with them, because they are not functioning in "time" but are content and present with you in the moment. Hang out with them. It's contagious.
And remember that even those people that seem like they're "there" and you are not - like they figured it all out, and you're left behind - the truth is, they keep on forgetting too, just like you do. Maybe they're just one step ahead of you. You can help each other to remember.
We all need a little help. Not to get something outside of us, but just to be reminded that we already have it. We ARE it.


Ben Schwarcz is a Coach, advanced EFT Tapping Practitioner, teacher and Psychotherapist in Santa Rosa, CA, specializing in trauma release and Peak Performance Coaching. Ben can be reached at 707-326-5566 or through his websites: www.tapping-coach.com and www.alternativedepressiontherapy.com